So hey, my book isn’t selling mud to a hut maker, I just got the worst haircut of my life, and I’ve taken to losing my cool and saying the tHe, THE! What’s that, would I like you to beam me with that egg little shaver? YES! Please do! And your dog is biting me, THANKS, you’re awesome! No Mick Jagger, I’m not hiding your satisfaction in that ominous cave, but look anyway! What random guy at my door selling crap, did you say I could hand you my wallet to hold? Sure, take it I trust you! Why are running back to your car?! OH, that’s where my free foam hat is, I knew it! Boy underwear wearing Barney doll we’ve got it ruff! What, you want me to hurl you into random guy as he drives away?! Of course, how could I be so dumb! These are the words I hear a lot, can we go ahead of you sir, you’re drunk in the buffet line! Or, why are you asking me to test that gravely hill sir, that’s stu-PID?! So things are good, just ask me! I might as well tell ya Ellen DeGeneres, I’ll be missing your show today due to nothing and random cow leg! You know how that comes up, of course you do?! They always say when piglets fly?! I’ve thrown a pig, they’re surprisingly nimble in the air and in a hole! The last one I swear sang David Hasselwhatever’s song, I’M lookin’ for a hero!! Sweet but not drunk enough for me, but still better than the original! Had me begging fer more! There’s 3 ways to skin a jelly sandwich, so take your hands off my JElly! Oh yeah of course, I forget to mention I wrote the longest novel in history! Here, this is where you imagine what it looks like stacked beside me. Yes, it is very tall, and yes it’s got its own room! 7,815 pages of the funniest damn book ever written using human words! This is the direct result of pure work ethic and cow leg! Here’s a link to my Facebook page on.fb.me/Sf3fA5 and a picture of the book will be up next week! Or you can search Buck T. Edwards on Facebook,a friend o’ mine in life, as he’s already posted a pic of the book! Aside from that I’m starting work on new war epic!!
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