Hi so I’m riding my trusty steed Righteous the pig around town, and I’m handing out chewed up gum with the words Magic Everything written on them in pen! I think this is my best marketing idea yet, YES! I also have on my royal red unitard with the words,’ Don’t smell, read a book,” written around my stomach in purple! Let’s face it, this is what all the big time writers are doing, and I knows it! I laughed at 1 little lemon haired kid when he bent down and split the ass crack of his pants! Now he’s got me in a headlock and is pummeling me with an orange! It’s like that guy who wrote the book said, honest officer, I dont know this goat personally! Words to live by, trust me on this! I just poked the kid in the belly now me and Righteous are riding over the hobo population, on our way to some sweet slop! Boy could I go for some too, not really you know slop tastes like turd right?! Anyway ya know, I just wish the peoples singing on the sidewalk would shut their yaps, a swine’s comin’ thru!
In the future I think people will wise up and go back to making their houses out of mud! Its free, it looks classy, and if you need a cellar just dig! Boy I miss the days when I was an egg salesmen in my mind, thems were the days! Don’t kid yourself eggs are worth lots, and lots will get you SQUAT! If you ask me we don’t have enough egg paying jobs, that’s right the big bucks! Boy, I just realized I need to be selling my book underwater! Now we’re talking, I can corner the market! If a duck don’t quack, you knows it’s weird Lenny from next door in his duck undies! Hey Weird Lenny, how’s the blowing it big time going?! What?! Can’t hear you over the talking! OH, that’s you talking, well that explains it!