Hi hello it’s official I’m engaged to the sea! Our love affair has taken me some weird places, mostly shallow water but who’s counting?! I AM, that’s five swims this week ohh yeah! So I’ve gotten into the habit of changing all my habits! First change, I now eat cheeseburgers for breakfast and steer all conversations to the weather, my specialty! I wear sweaters when it’s hot and go around saying, BOY IT’S HOt! To which I get pounded and chased, but I’m good at playing possum, skills baby! Oh no, I think I’m dying THUd! Nope, I possumed ya, now i’m soaking in my sweet victory, YES! I cleaned the kitchen a little while ago, where’s my friggin’ robots, it’s the future already?! I want my starship, and what’s Spock doing these days soup commercials?! I need a first mate by gum! I can’t handle modern day pressures, somebody invent a do everything robot already! Do you think the movie premiers for bad movies are in holes? Might as well be with a stinker under your belt, yeah I missed that one oops! I wrote today and I used words, real ones that make a crackling sound as you read ‘ em, crack!
You can’t tell a horse you ain’t been ridin’! That what a steaming turd just whispered as I ate it! The annual donut jamboree’s today and I’m packing my usual glazed with jerky crushed into it! Why mess with a winner, when I consistently win 8th place! Here comes Becky Looseleg herself! Hey Becky you’re carrying my demon seed! Oww, Becky has now taken offense to my tomfoolery, and is beating me senseless, oww! Word to the wise, dumb people hit hard! Now I’m running side by side with the ski team losers, GET A SLED!